Thursday, November 1, 2007

A For Effort for girls....

My absolute favorite quote ever, "a prayer for the heart kept in cages" by Tennessee Williams.

I hear girls all the time talk about marriage in classes at FAU, how if they date a guy for more then 6 months they expect a ring or move in together. I hear about a "biological clock" and these girls are barely over 18!
I've been with my boyfriend for more then 2 years, {on and off, off for a few months but mostly on} and I don't expect a ring or commitment anytime soon. It's a good day if he remembers to call me (since we go to separate Universities) and most days he doesn't or I'll have to call him. In fact, he's talked about leaving me more then being with me. He left me for three months going to Europe alone, now he wants to go into the Peace Core without me too, since it's worked into his masters program at FSU.
Why does this tie into my quote? I feel sometimes no I really feel caged by everything in this world all the time but I get that, lots of people do. The one time I don't feel caged is when I'm with my boyfriend. Though I do feel, unlike most girls, that I don't need a ring or marriage for commitment. I would however, like to feel the person I'm with isn't wanting to leave me all the time. I'm not one to open up, (to anyone really) and with a long distance boyfriend where conversations are just catching up on the basic comings and goings of the day, I really feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.
I suppose guys don't pick up the phone wanting to discuss feelings, they call to tell you something funny, what they did that day or phone sex. Women I suppose call for the complete opposite reason.
Is it a "girl thing" to call and write letters and stuff for guys when really they just see it as "a cute thing" their girlfriends do and could care less.
Why is it girls can only make the effort when it comes to emotion? Guys will drive, pay and fix things, is this what we've been made to think is making an effort to stay together? Granted I don't want a guy crying on my shoulder after the last episode of "Grey's Anatomy", .....maybe I don't know what I want.
Maybe, no not maybe, I WANT someone who feels caged like me and Tennessee and so at least i know I'm not fighting an uphill battle alone.

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