Monday, November 5, 2007

Hollywood Websites

I check the websites www.perezhilton.com and www.dlisted.com almost daily, they are both funny websites that poke fun of celebrities, mostly they make fun of "actresses/models" who take themselves to seriously. They call out stars on their bullshit to put it basically.

I can't help but notice on these websites, that they attack women's looks more and more. If they look older, they poke fun. If they get work done if they do look old, they poke fun at that. If they are too skinny/fat they poke fun of that. No wonder women are going crazy trying to be perfect.

It should be noted that both these websites are run by males. Does this make it worse? Is it really any better then women's magazine who cut themselves down by constantly talking about weight and beauty.

I have a hard time keeping my obsession with how I look in check. I can get crazy but when all you're told is that "you're pretty/beautiful/sexy/hot/" it's hard to see myself as much else. I mean, yea... I'm passionate as hell, slightly crazy, athletic, a writer, a student, a feminist, a fighter, a lover, a advocate, a victim, a liberal, funny and adventurous but no one sees that, all people see is my outside. When you have a terrific boyfriend like I do, it helps but I can be my own worst critic.

Is there really any clear messages for women that are positive? If there are, they are few and far between.

I have included a picture of me made up and another completely natural, not posing, in a bathing suit, with no makeup, just to keep my ego in check, tummy out and all! Hey, I can't look picture perfect all the time, no matter what the media tells me.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

"Forgiveness is more then saying sorry......"

Are women able to forgive more easily then men? I think men's ego's get in the way to be honest,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forgiveness states,

"Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution[1]."

Why is it women might forgive more, is it because we are able to talk about our emotions because its more acceptable by society? I'm unsure, this act of "forgiveness" is really, about being the bigger person. It seems most of history's wars are mens egos so I could easily see why they have more trouble forgiving.
How can people forgive murders? People who rape or steal? I don't even know how to answer that one ...
The "main male" forgiver was Jesus and pulling out my Bible, {finding it slightly dusty after searching for it for a while) states this:

The Miracle of Forgiveness

Mark 2:7-11 (Wey) "Why does this man use such words?" they said; "He is blaspheming. Who can pardon sins but One--that is, God?"... Jesus asked them, "Which is easier?--to say to this paralytic, 'Your sins are pardoned,' or to say, 'Rise, take up your mat, and walk?' But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to pardon sins"--He turned to the paralytic, and said, "To you I say, 'Rise, take up your mat and go home.'"

Conditional Forgiveness

Mat 6:12 (TEB) "Forgive us the wrongs that we have done, as we forgive the wrongs others have done us."

Luke 6:37 (NIV) "...Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

Mat 6:14-15 (NIV) "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."



It would be nice if everyone had that outlook huh? If we would have forgave the terrorists of 9-11 think how many thousands of lives we would have saved and not be in war.
If we just forgave the Japanese after Pearl Harbor instead of counter attacking with a bomb in a place that was mostly filled with innocent civilians. If we didn't hold everyday grudges and instead thought about our own mistakes we've made. Why do we, as individuals always exclude ourselves when pointing out mistakes.
Though I do think women can forgive easier, I do know I need to work on my own lack of ability to forgive. If I were to die tomorrow, I'd be so mad at the anger i held in for people that have wronged me, even those who wronged me severely. Still it is hard to look past my own emotions and silently forgive.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

"uhhh are you on you're period?"

No matter what, when a girl gets emotional and spirited or god forbid passionate it usually means a guy is gonna assume shes on her period and gonna ask her.
I'm always a feisty passionate girl, so does that mean I'm leaking blood 24/7? NO, it means I don't keep what I'm feeling bottled up, (maybe that's why serial killers aren't mainly women?} I either display it or feel it....mostly display it psychically.
3 weeks ago, we were having our usual family dinner at my house and my sister turns to me and says,
"I was at Blockbuster renting a video and the guy working recognized my last name and said, 'hey you're sister Avalon punched my cousin in the face" and he said you punched his cousin in the face when he hit on you and you turned him down so he called you a dumb bitch."
My boyfriend who is used to me said "that sounds about right." My parents were mad, mostly my mom but my dad was slightly amused.
I can't help but think I handled that situation like a man but if I had cried or been upset with a guy calling me that, it would of been "to girly."
Perhaps I see crying as something vulnerable and i hate being that way, I only cry when I feel safe enough with the person there to witness it or mostly alone. I just see crying or getting emotional as a waste of time, sometimes I feel actions, maybe physical, are a better reaction.
Maybe I just got tired of being asked if i was on my period.

A For Effort for girls....

My absolute favorite quote ever, "a prayer for the heart kept in cages" by Tennessee Williams.

I hear girls all the time talk about marriage in classes at FAU, how if they date a guy for more then 6 months they expect a ring or move in together. I hear about a "biological clock" and these girls are barely over 18!
I've been with my boyfriend for more then 2 years, {on and off, off for a few months but mostly on} and I don't expect a ring or commitment anytime soon. It's a good day if he remembers to call me (since we go to separate Universities) and most days he doesn't or I'll have to call him. In fact, he's talked about leaving me more then being with me. He left me for three months going to Europe alone, now he wants to go into the Peace Core without me too, since it's worked into his masters program at FSU.
Why does this tie into my quote? I feel sometimes caged...er... no I really feel caged by everything in this world all the time but I get that, lots of people do. The one time I don't feel caged is when I'm with my boyfriend. Though I do feel, unlike most girls, that I don't need a ring or marriage for commitment. I would however, like to feel the person I'm with isn't wanting to leave me all the time. I'm not one to open up, (to anyone really) and with a long distance boyfriend where conversations are just catching up on the basic comings and goings of the day, I really feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.
I suppose guys don't pick up the phone wanting to discuss feelings, they call to tell you something funny, what they did that day or phone sex. Women I suppose call for the complete opposite reason.
Is it a "girl thing" to call and write letters and stuff for guys when really they just see it as "a cute thing" their girlfriends do and could care less.
Why is it girls can only make the effort when it comes to emotion? Guys will drive, pay and fix things, is this what we've been made to think is making an effort to stay together? Granted I don't want a guy crying on my shoulder after the last episode of "Grey's Anatomy", .....maybe I don't know what I want.
Maybe, no not maybe, I WANT someone who feels caged like me and Tennessee and so at least i know I'm not fighting an uphill battle alone.